Why My Generation *Still* Is Not Getting Married - A Reprise

Four years ago I wrote an article “Why My Generation is Not Getting Married...and what can be done about it”.

The article caused quite a stir in christian and conservative circles. I was pleasantly surprised by the number of parents who appreciated what I had written. The reaction from peers was mixed: some agreed with my assessments, a few did not.  I had fathers asking me to write their daughters words of encouragement. The article even inspired a few men to propose marriage.  I received my fair share of the proposals. 

That article sparked one of the first conversations with the man that I would later marry. I had no idea that God would continue to weave our lives in such a way that we would become best friends for life. I vividly remember the conversation.  His background was slightly different than mine. I was homeschooled; he wasn’t. I was writing to a more targeted demographic; he had a broader perspective. And, he came at the issue from a guy’s point of view, while I didn’t. 

Now four years later, I have been encouraged to see many of the single friends in my life get married. God has been faithful in providing spouses. Still many who inspired my first article are single and waiting. Some of my generation are getting married, but I don’t believe the trend has changed significantly.  A lion share of the first generation of homeschool graduates is not getting married. Meanwhile the dynamics of the Christian, conservative homeschool sub-culture is changing rapidly.

This topic is still one that is heavy on my heart. I continue to pray daily for God to provide Godly spouses to those that are waiting. And, I continue to keep my eyes and ears open, observing what is happening and what can be done about it. 

I know that what I say may be controversial, but I believe it is true. 

So, WHY is my generation STILL not getting married? 

I propose eight reasons. 

It’s easier to Complain than Get Married

There are a LOT of young people 35 and under who are complaining. Constantly complaining. Social media has made this easier than ever. It seems that young people have bought in to a mindset of complacency - better to complain about all the problems in your life than do something about them. I know people whining that they were raised too strictly, or without friends. Young adults griping that they don’t have enough money saved for marriage, or that their dad was too patriarchal and their mom too matriarchal. They weren’t socialized enough, or their parents were too overbearing. The list goes on and on. Complaining is a byproduct of our human nature. And, it eats up our time. It sucks our mental and emotional energy. It distracts us from spiritual discipline. 

This reminds me of the Israelites. They were constantly complaining about how life was not perfect. Instead of being grateful that they were no longer slaves, they complained about everything. My generation of homeschool graduates has chosen far too often not to look at their upbringing through eyes of gratitude. We must accept that our parents were not and are not perfect, but let’s be grateful for leading us out of the wasteland and to a place where we have a foundation to build on. Perhaps my generation needs to read more of the Pentatuch. We must remember that God’s patience with murmuring and complaining is only so long, but that He is faithful when we are obedient and walk in faith.

Obsessed with fixing our life

I know many young people who are spending their time and money - their life - trying to abate their inner anger for a deprived childhood. They are so blinded by their bitterness and obsession to fix their life that they aren’t getting married. This self-obsessive perspective is a sad, sickening cancer fed by lives of ingratitude. 

They are upset that they grew up in an “oppressive patriarchy”, and have become obsessed with toeing the line of feminism. If they were raised to dress conservatively, now they are obsessed with dressing provocatively and saving money for tattoos. Maybe they didn’t travel much and they are now obsessed with travel and entertainment. It’s a disease of extremes, and one that is very short sighted. I weep for those young men and women who are constantly pressing the rewind button on their youth. One day they will wake up old and alone, having missed all the blessings of adulthood. 

My generation needs to be more obsessed with the gospel, and walking in covenant (including marriage) with others who are passionate about the gospel, and less concerned about all the perceived mistakes of our parents. We are all broken, and the only thing that can fix us is the gospel. Stop trying to rewrite your life, and let God write it. 

Too Busy Being “Just Friends”

I am often asked one question, usually by a guy: “Should I marry someone who is my best friend, even if I’m not sure if I’m attracted to her sexually?” I used to be able to count how many times I’d heard this, but now I can’t. As our culture becomes increasingly sexualized, even Pastors, elders, and parents are telling young people not to get married unless they are sexually, chemically attracted to each other. That is the worst advice I think I’ve ever heard. And, it makes my heart break. 

Don’t mistake me, I think it is good to be attracted to your spouse. I also think that it is good to be compatible.

But think of it this way. Is it likely that you’re best friends with someone you aren’t compatible with? Is it likely that you are best friends with someone you find repulsive, or not attractive? I didn’t think so. 
I know that especially the younger men in my generation are discouraged. They are rebuffed by young women (often by her parents) at every turn. One young man recently asked me, “If the guys who have been trying to get married for 10 years keeps getting doors slammed in their face, why should I even try?” This is unfortunately the general consensus. 

People are attracted to one another because of looks, yes. But people are also attractive because of the way they act. A person who acts lovingly is lovely. A person who is a good listener will steal your heart. A person who puts your needs before their own will remain your best friend when you are old. 

This one bothers me more than most because it is so pervasive, even in our circles. The person you marry should be your best friend. And, if you are single and have a best friend of the opposite sex, you should marry them. With only a foundation of sexual attraction a marriage is likely to fail because someone more alluring will come by. If you are single, then go...find a best friend of the opposite sex, and marry them. When your heart can safely trust in that person you will know what true attraction is. 

Marriage has been made unappealing

We live in a culture that is trying to redefine marriage. The profound has become profane. People fear divorce, and believe the lie that the only guarantee against divorce is not getting married.

Even in the church marriage is no longer seen as a life of adventure and teamwork for the Kingdom of God, but more as a stepping stone to inevitable divorce. Movements to legislate the redefinition of marriage are only the symptoms of a disease that is long left unchecked.

When God has given us a profound desire for adventure, excitement, companionship, and love, but every marriage we look at seems lackluster, boring, hard, and weak, then it is no wonder why my generation is simply not interested. 

And then, our subculture has the audacity to discourage from marriage for a hundred different reasons. It’s time for those who are married to encourage those who are single by being vulnerable about the good and bad in our marriages. Let’s be real, but also encouraging. Young people can always find a reason not to get married. Let’s give them a reason to pursue it. 

A Word about the Men

The conservative, christian homeschooling subculture has done young men a disservice. Young men aren’t encouraged to be men. The culture has become double minded. If he opens a door, we’ll say he acts superior. If he doesn’t, we’ll say he isn’t a gentleman. If he is friendly, we’ll call it flirting. If he isn’t friendly, we’ll call him standoffish. 

I think it’s about time we obliterate the litany of unsurpassable expectations, and start looking at young men with a Biblical standard. Does he love the Lord? Does he have a good work ethic? Is he trustworthy and honest? Humble and kind? If so, then he is a man worthy of consideration.

Isn’t it about time the good men get a break?  Allow them the opportunity to pursue a worthy woman, even if we aren’t sure they meet every one of our preconceived expectations. I think we would be pleasantly surprised at the manliness that would manifest to meet the challenge. 

A Word to the Women and the Parents 

Stop looking for Mr. Perfect. He doesn’t exist. Really, he doesn’t. I am so tired of all the young women who won’t even consider marrying a young man that doesn’t look, talk or act like Josh Harris (or whoever their ideal is). This is a problem of both young women and parents alike. It seems far too often if a young lady likes a man, the parents must disapprove. Or, if the parents like a young man, the young lady must disapprove. It is pure idolatry to hold an unrealistic standard.  One must see each young man as a son of God.

Of course, if there are real and serious problems with a man, then the relationship shouldn’t be pursued. But, if the disagreement is over something like “who should have won the war between the states?” then maybe it’s time to get some perspective. Perhaps we have forgotten that people grow and change - even after marriage. And, we have to adapt to those changes when we are married to them. So, maybe, just maybe it’s ok if someone doesn’t perfectly match your perspective of an ideal spouse. 

Pornography is eating the strength out of men and women

Pornography is everywhere. Women can find it in romance novels. Men can find it on the internet. All we have to do is turn on our phones, kindles, ipads, or walk in to a grocery story to be bombarded with pornographic images. 

You wonder why men and women aren’t getting married? Because pornography is eating the substance out of women and the strength out of men. This isn’t a new problem. Proverbs 5:3-5 says “For the lips of a strange woman drop as an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil: But her end is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold on hell.” That is very serious warning against pornography. Later in the chapter Solomon tells us of a better plan: “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth.” (Proverbs 5:18)

As our generation gets older and more discouraged, the opportunity to fall in to the trap of pornography and other cheap substitutes for love and marriage is ever increasing. As this happens, young men especially begin to lack the energy, aptitude, and fortitude to pursue a woman. 

Courtship & Respect

Last, but not least, I must address the new movement that proposes that courtship is fundamentally flawed. I agree, and I disagree. Courtship is fundamentally flawed because families are humans are fundamentally flawed - due to our sin nature. So, yes, in a sense, courtship is fundamentally flawed. 

The flaw occurs the moment we obsess more about “doing courtship right” than we do about honoring Biblical principles of purity and guarding one another’s heart. It’s just like modesty. A woman with an immodest heart will never appear modest no matter what her outward apparel. In like manner, courtship will appear to be flawed when those who are participating aren’t doing so in a respectful, God-honoring manner. 

There seems to be a false assumption that if you believe in courtship your heart will never get hurt. That’s simply not true. The purpose of courtship is to put up safeguards for young people, providing structure and wisdom. 

If there is a flaw I see in the practice of courtship today, it is this: a lack of respect, often on the part of parents. I see many young men discouraged because they aren’t taken seriously, either by their parents, or the parents of the young lady they wish to pursue. It’s as if her parents forget they are talking to the man who may end up being the father of their grandchildren, or the son who cares for them in old age. This is a problem that the Church has in general. It seems that the people who are to be known by their love for one another aren’t very loving. 

I believe that any young man who pursues a woman ought to be treated with respect, simply for having shown respect himself. There is more than one fail-safe set up to ensure the heart of the woman is guarded, but we have forgotten to treat the man’s heart with care. Remember, parents, that this man is young, but he is seeking to be the leader of his own home. He will not have everything figured out. He won’t be polished. But, that doesn’t mean that he should be treated with a lack of respect. Far too many young men are ready to throw in the towel on relationships entirely because they have been treated poorly. This reminds me of the warning to parents in scripture of guarding against provoking children to wrath. I’m afraid that some of the unnecessary expectations parents have placed on young people may have done just that. 

In Conclusion

I agree with those who are calling out the problems that they see. It’s time that we all step back and realize that somewhere along the path we have lost our way. Parents have suffered from comparing themselves to other families. Children have suffered from parents who can get caught in extremes. And, in the midst of chasing a life that looks good on the outside, we’ve missed the heart of the matter. 

As parents, do we truly believe that God has given us the unique privilege of raising up men and women who will soon be married and parents of their own? If so, let’s encourage them to that end instead of throwing road blocks up. 

As young people, do we truly believe that God will provide us with a spouse who will encourage and challenge us in our walk with Him? Then, don’t allow yourself to be distracted from this calling. God will be faithful to provide in His time! 

Homemade Pickle Recipe by Lactofermentation

Homemade Pickle Recipe by Lactofermentation

by Lucas Baumbach

Face it; many of the best things in life are fermented.  Little, microscopic bacteria make wonderful things like cheese, wine, pickles, vinegar.  In our home we have enjoyed making our own kefir (dairy and water varieties) and we have made kombucha.

This post is specifically dedicated to our favourite recipe for pickling cucumbers.  Cucumbers are in the Curcurbitae family, the gourd family, and are related to squash and pumpkins.  The way to pick a pickle is by knowing your varieties.  We use the Boston Pickler variety.  Pickling cucumbers are often thin-skinned, have small seeds and have a more bitter taste when eaten raw.  This bitterness subsides during pickling.  Slicing cucumbers on the other hand are often darker skinned and less bumpy (not always).  Specifically slicers are known for their lack of bitterness.  In the following picture you see the process of cleaning the cucumbers, the first step of pickling.  Using a clean rag, burnish the surface to remove the bumps, especially focusing on removing any remnant of the blossom end.  The blossoms tend to cause the pickles to go soft during fermentation and should be completely removed.

You may notice that this picture features both the yellow-skinned pickling cucumbers and the dark-skinned slicers.  They both work just fine for pickling.  I pick them no longer than 4 or 5 inches.  The smaller the better most people think, and smallness is good when it comes time to stuff the cucumbers into a jar.

This picture does not show the overnight soaking in ice-cold water.  Soak immediately after picking and cleaning, to retain crispness.  If it is possible, put the pickles in the jar immediately after picking.  It is not necessary to have a completely sterile environment or to blanch the cucumbers.
Blanching may be detrimental to the crispness of the pickle.

Lactofermentation is the process by which good bacteria begin to convert the sugars in the pickles to vinegar.  No vinegar is required in this recipe.  The vinegar is naturally made.  Once the acidity in the broth is high no bad bacteria can survive, it is the acidity that makes this unpasteurized product safe.  One can eat a live-cultured pickle, because the pickle is in a brine that develops enough vinegar to kill any unhealthy bacteria.  Although acidity is important, another key ingredient to keeping the right balance of bacteria is a grape leaf, cherry leaf or any high-tannin leaf.  Tannins limit the growth of certain bacteria that can cause the cucumbers to lose crispness.  We add one cherry leaf to the bottom and place one on top before placing the lid.

Notice that the pickles are stuffed well below the high mark of the liquid brine.  This is important, because anything above the brine will spoil.  Without the protection of the acidic vinegar, the pickles turn to mush.  A cloudy brine is a good sign.  If a funny mold grows on top of the jar, wait a few days and the acid will take care of it.

Now that you understand the theory behind lactofermentation, lets get down to ingredients.  We use two cherry (or grape) leaves, two red peppers (cayenne), two cloves of garlic and a stalk or two of fresh dill weed.  Two tablespoons of salt per half-gallon or one tablespoon of salt per quart.

Pack the jars with ingredients, usually inserting the dill, peppers and garlic in the center.  Then before adding water put the pickling salt directly into the jar.  Then pour boiling water over the salt and into the jar until the liquid completely covers the contents but not to overfull.
Use a clean lid to cover the fermenting jar, but do not screw the lid on overly tight.  Place the jars in a dark place and burp the jars daily.  Temperature plays a role in speed of fermentation.  We allow our fermentation to go for at least two weeks at a constant temperature of 75 degrees Fahrenheit.  The liquid will spill over, thanks to the bubbles caused by fermentation.  Keep the jars clean and dry.  After two weeks or until the experiment tastes pickled through and through, refrigerate to stop the fermentation process.

With this guide and a bit of ingenuity, you will be enjoying the potassium-rich treat that is the breakfast of champions, pickles.

Labrador Loves His Enemies

Labrador Loves His Enemies

by Lucas Baumbach

Labrador's procurement of Dan Popkey as press secretary is at best a matchup of job qualifications and at worst the pinnacle of a long string of disappointing appointments.

The first test is on qualifications. Popkey passes.  Who better to deal with media than a media person? Dan Popkey is respected by the media elite, which respect will accrue to Labrador with Popkey as a hired hand.  This type of appointment is nothing new or abnormal.  Innumerable ex-media personalities have gone into lobbying or running campaigns because reporting pays nothing, and often less than nothing. Reporters are what the liberal elite likes to call the working poor. Because reporters are so poor that they tend toward socialist convictions as a means of getting even with their educated and successful peers, who chose a career in business instead of journalism.  So, maybe if Dan Popkey makes some good money at his new job, he won't be such a capitalist-hating malcontent.  In a few years he could be yucking it up as a Blue Cross lobbyist that promotes universal healthcare.  I see a new Dan in the offing.

It may be seem incongruous to imagine Labrador hiring a reporter whose penchant has been to attack politicians.  Even so, a few high-level conservatives trust the honesty of Dan Popkey more than any other reporter in Idaho. I don't strictly adhere to this optimistic and often Pollyanna-like appraisal of Popkey. Too many of today's reporters are inclined to report innuendo and hearsay, like Dan is renowned for doing.  But, at least Dan is willing to put his name on the slander and libel he produces.  He's malcontent and proud of it.   But, even the targets of Popkey's wrath were in some way deserving.  Senator Larry Craig was a fop.  Candidate Vaughn Ward was a puppet.  Representative Patterson was a wild man.  Clearly Popkey has been used by God to humble the proud.  Today the proud are rejoicing that Popkey is off the streets and on a leash.  

Still, what is Labrador thinking? You have to look at Labrador's past choices.  Labrador has hired multiple people with questionable backgrounds and allegiances, including Phil Hardy who has been and is now an outspoken, brash minion of the establishment. Hardy was fired after he posted sexually provocative comments online in Labrador's name.

The explanations I have to give for Labrador's hiring practices are two-fold. One, he doesn't have human resource skills, hiring whomever is available, which is usually an establishment groupie without a job.  Two, growing up as an immigrant, Labrador has developed an affinity for people who are unlike him. You could call it stranger-in-a-strange-land syndrome. Labrador has a reputation for being friendly with his enemies in Congress.  This would explain why he is friendly with these people, but he maintains an impressively unswerving voting record. Labrador befriends his enemies not because he lacks principle, but because it is a principle in and of itself - not unlike what Jesus teaches in the Sermon on the Mount: love your enemies. Jesus took a principled position.  Jesus did not lack principle, as the superficial appraisal of the Pharisees would have had people believe. Whether knowingly or not Raul is a great politician because of this way of dealing with others. In political circles it is called keeping enemies close.  In Christian circles we call it a Biblical Worldview.

The hiring of Popkey supports my analysis that Labrador should have run for governor of Idaho in 2014, because he would have had a friendly media on his side.  In hindsight we can see that if Russ Fulcher, a relative unknown, gave Otter a black eye (Otter lost the three biggest counties to Fulcher), Raul Labrador would have given Otter a knock-out punch. I maintain to this day that Labrador should have run for governor, and Fulcher for Congress. They both would have won, and we would have had the added bonus of a unified Republican Party, instead of our current defunct organization.  

One question remains.  Why does Raul Labrador refuse to hire a single person from the Republican Liberty Caucus?  What is the excuse for hiring people, who are so consistently against what he believes?  He clearly excludes hiring libertarians, and then he goes on Meet the Press as a libertarian perspective. Hypocritical?  Along a similar vein, Raul Labrador promised before he won the primary in 2010 that he would use his influence to help conservatives win elections and I haven't seen a lot of follow through on that promise. He has been stingy with public support of conservative candidates which tells me that he is not ready to lead a state, even if he has some of the necessary skills of befriending enemies. Why should we want Labrador as governor, if he prefers to appoint democrats and RINOs to all the agency positions?  We need Labrador to clearly favor the individuals who will promote the values of limited government.  He can surely manage that while still being nice to the enemies.

Parting words:

Everyone should remember that in 2010 Dan Popkey wrote the article that uncovered Vaughan Ward's plagiarism of Obama. Vaughan Ward was Raul's primary challenger, heavily favored by the establishment. If Labrador owes anyone for where he is today, it is Popkey.  It's Popkey's article that inspired my video in the eleventh hour of the primary.  I am posting a link to the video here.  Notice the credit I give to Popkey.  Without Popkey's research, the origin of the speech may never have been revealed.

Before and After

On the farm we're getting the fields ready to plant. Before After If you are interested in starts or produce and fruit through the summer, sign up here for our BIG RED FARM UPDATES! And, if you are ever in the area, we'd love to have you stop by. We'll fire up the grill, sip some sweet tea, and watch the sunset!

We're back!

After taking a break from blogging, we're back. This website will be "grand central station" for all updates on our lives, as well as the best way to get in touch with us! I'll take a few moments to catch everyone up on what's been going on in our lives the last year! We bought a little house and 10 acres in Emmett, Idaho!

Our goal with buying this property was to grow most of our own food, have animals, and have extra produce left over to sell and share with friends and family! To that end, we spent a portion of last fall preserving good food, and we have been enjoying the fruits of our labors all winter long.

And, most of this spring re-claiming the land that was left without care for nearly 10 years.

We re-roofed a barn/greenhouse with the help of friends and family.

And, we've had some new additions of the four-legged kind added to the farmstead!

Elysse has been on a journey to get healthier and so she's been learning to cook egg-free, and (mostly) dairy and gluten free also!

As we head in to Spring, we are excited about getting our first seeds planted!

We plan on having extra starts to sell, as well as boxes of our home-grown garden produce AND fresh, local fruit throughout the summer. Most of what we offer will be ORGANIC, and HEIRLOOM. You can't get any better than that! If you are interested in starts or produce and fruit through the summer, sign up here for our BIG RED FARM UPDATES! And, if you are ever in the area, we'd love to have you stop by. We'll fire up the grill, sip some sweet tea, and watch the sunset!

Motivation with a Purpose Interview

If you missed my (Elysse's) interview on "Motivation with a Purpose" about The Morning Center and the private health care model...I'd encourage you to give it a listen!

Here's the link! Note: The interview is an hour long.

Motivation with a Purpose: Private Charity Model & The Morning Center

My view on Attachment Parenting

My view on Attachment Parenting

As a young woman who grew up as the oldest in her family I was always interested in parenting philosophies. When I headed to my adult years I began to discuss different views with my parents, and more recently with my husband. A few years ago I started to hear more about the popular Attachment Parenting philosophy. At first I was intrigued but withheld judgment. I was waiting for research and results. In the meantime, I have read every article and blog post I could find on the subject - pro, con, and indifferent. I’ve also been closely watching the children of parents who subscribe (to varying degrees) to attachment parenting.

For the purposes of this article I am painting in broad brush strokes and summarizing attachment parenting with the popularized 3-B’s: Breastfeeding, Baby-wearing, and Bed-sharing. From the research I have done attachment parenting theory stems from psychologists’ research of primitive tribes, particularly mother-child interactions in Amazonian tribes.

As mentioned before, I’m the oldest of 7 children. I am not yet a parent, but expectantly wait the day when I am blessed with the privilege of motherhood. I am not unfamiliar with birth and bringing up babies. I grew up seeing my mother breastfeed, and carried my brothers and sisters around in front and back baby carriers.

I have decided that it is finally time for me to carefully pen my views on this topic. My concerns with the attachment parenting craze are three-fold.

Child Centered

The American culture we live in is extremely self-centered. As Christians, particularly Christian families, we are called to fight against selfishness and live a life of obedience to Jesus Christ. As parents we should be laying our lives down for our spouse, and be modeling a life of other-centeredness. Attachment parenting in practice is extremely self-centered and child-centered at its core. It places the parent-child relationship (particularly, mother-child) above all other relationships. Reflecting on the fact that the most important part of a traditional, healthy parent-child relationship is the parent-parent relationship, attachment parenting encourages misprioritization. One of the most horrifying results of attachment parenting’s co-sleeping or bed-sharing is what should be called “relationship replacement”. I know of one father who has been sleeping on the couch for the better part of 2 years because his toddler son will only sleep with the mother in their master bed. In that family’s dynamic the husband has been replaced by the son. They now have a daughter and the toddler son and baby daughter sleep in the big bed with Mom while Dad sleeps on the couch. Dad has been relegated to the role of guest on the couch in his own home. I can almost guarantee that this toddler son who already has little respect for his father will grow up to despise and hate his father for allowing this unhealthy relationship to develop. Yes, babies have needs. They get hungry, wet, and scared at night. That doesn’t mean they have to sleep with us. Good parents are one cry away from their babies.

A child-centered philosophy of parenting is also selfish for each parent because the parent’s value as a person is mixed up in their child’s need for them. This is particularly important for women to recognize. As a woman I believe I can challenge other women in this area. Our value and priorities must be in this order: my God and how He sees me as a woman and His daughter, my husband and his view of me as his helper, partner, lover, and sister in Christ, and then my child and his view of me as his parent. If I get those out of order then I am mis-portraying my own values system to my child. Children are so smart that they will easily pick up on these inconsistencies in our worldview and practice. As they say, the proof is in the pudding. One of the most heartbreaking observations among parents who have homeschooled their children is the rampant divorces that are taking place. As their younger children grow up the parents realize their marriage has fallen apart. These parents have incorrectly prioritized their children over their spouse. I think this mistake is easy to make and know that when I become a parent I must hold myself to a high standard.

Missing Long Term Vision

My second concern flows straight from the first one, particularly this: attachment parenting lends itself to a short-term vision for your children and your family. One of my parents’ sayings during our childhood was: “We are not raising children. We are raising future adults.” I didn’t realize the profundity of that philosophy until I had made it to adulthood. My transition from child to teenager to adult was very smooth and I credit that to my parents’ challenging us to grow and mature. My parents worked hard to make sure that we realized we were not the center of the universe, not even their universe. We were loved and cherished, and never for a moment questioned or wondered about their love for us. However, we fit into their lives, not the other way around. I fear that the short-term concern of parents who follow attachment theories for their baby’s or toddler’s needs encourages only raising children, not adults.

Let me expand this thought further with one example. While I am a huge proponent of breastfeeding, I am not a believer in extended breastfeeding or that children should determine when they want to wean. Breastfeeding is a good thing. It is the way God designed babies to be fed, and science has proven that it makes for healthier, happier and more wholesome children. However, in what other case is it acceptable to allow children to make the decisions for their life? Never, unless we want to raise disobedient, selfish, and unhealthy children. I don’t think any parent would want to start their child on that path.

The family is the child’s first government. Children, even babies, must know that their parents are their authority and that their job as little ones is to listen, learn, and obey. When my Mother realized that her little one was not as interested in eating or could handle solid foods well, that’s when she weaned us. It was a different age for each of us. She realized that breastfeeding was not about her being needed by her child. Her job as a parent was to grow her children up, not plateau them at any stage. Attachment parenting in practice makes the parent’s concern to be what the baby needs or wants now, not what they need for the future, which is a short-sighted perspective.

Motivation

My final concern also stems from my parents’ influence on my life. They taught me to always dig for the motivation behind any movement. If you know me, you know I’ve dug for why my generation isn’t getting married, among other things.

I keep asking myself, “Why?” “Why are so many of my fellow homeschool graduate Moms enamored with this theory?” Perhaps I’m most concerned about this because it’s ambiguous, and it could be a different reason for each person. I will always defend each couple’s right to raise their children the way they think is best, so long as it does not counter the Word of God. I still think that it is important for us to ask ourselves why we might be attracted to this theory, or what our personal motivation is.

Are you attracted to this theory because it is the newest idea out there? Or, because your friends are doing it? Or, is it because you are craving to do something different that your parents? As young married couples with families we must guard against reacting to our parents’ little mistakes in a big way.

We should certainly learn from our parents, but we shouldn’t throw the baby out with the bathwater. I can’t answer why you, my reader, is interested in attachment parenting theory. Regardless of your reason I would challenge you to think about your motivations, be thoughtful in reading both sides, and count the cost.

One final encouragement

As we raise Godly families let’s remember that theories, plans, and ideas should never be our hope. We must only hope in the Lord, and follow the principles He has given us in His Word. Let’s turn to those principles, stay in constant prayer, and model Godly lives as we raise the next generation.